Sunday, September 23, 2007

Wonderfully Short-Lived

While most people are resigned to the fact that some good things never last, others move heaven and earth to somehow make it last a bit more. Humans find it hard to let go of a something pleasant thinking that by doing so, they would be spared from being in pain or suffering agonizing consequences. More often than not, they are proven wrong and instead are faced with far more excruciating end-results.

Do you believe some good things are never meant to last?

Below is the story of a person who has affected my life in grandiose proportions.

In the previous week, I have met someone and we have spent five days together. Quite unexpectedly, that person took me places I have not been, brought about emotions I have yet to fathom and let me experienced things only found in my subconscious. Despite such a whirlwind of a romance (if you can even qualify it as such!) and such a short time spent together, my feelings betrayed me. My usually emotionless and distant demeanor has turned out to be exactly the opposite. The person seduced me to become the person I dreadfully fear of turning into: an emotional and easily read. I was no longer poker-faced, aloof and snob. With that person, proximity and intimacy was never an issue to me. No matter how much I tried to distant myself, I am drawn to the person even more. Smiling almost became automatic. The person tricked me that “my-mind-over-matter” take on things never seemed to work. Indeed, my brain cells malfunctioned that I ended up having to wear my heart so openly – so open that it could have easily fallen prey to any monstrous predators that abound. Thankfully, that person was never the opportunistic type. I was my most vulnerable state yet I was never taken advantage. Every amount of infatuation I had was reciprocated with every inch of care possibly given by a human being. To some point, I was in love and that person, in a very subtle way, taught me a very tangible lesson in life: by learning to love yourself only will you be able to love others. Being with that person, being ecstatic is an understatement (I hope I was able to get that through.).

However, the tryst has proved to be short-lived. The person could not stay with me for good because of the bounds of work, family life and personal attachments based in Manila. I had no choice but to hesitantly say goodbye (hopefully, just for now). In fairness, the person specifically stated that the stay would only be good for five days and I admit that five days felt like years of togetherness. I can honestly say that somehow I have known the person for a lifetime.

I hope that this good thing could have its continuation.

Now, regarding the above-stated question, I admit, at some point in my life, I have been both a believer and skeptic. True, I can be very clingy at times; holding on to every ounce of possibility that things are bound to work should you put your heart and soul into it. However, I have come to realize (the painful way, of course!) that learning to let go is an awful part of life. Some incidents happen only to teach you and get you prepared so that when you are faced with the same situation, you take on it with a knowing mind, a strong heart and all-the-needed confidence. Some degree of familiarity will always be a good ally and it could come in handy in the most desperate times.

Anyhow, Lee-an, wherever your feet may randomly take you and whatever you may be preoccupied with as of the moment, I would like you to know that having you in Cebu is the most liberating feeling of all. Lying beside you was the most secure time of my life. With you, I truly am myself minus the blunders (you know what I mean). I will miss you!

Though it may not include me, I will fervently hope for your happiness and success. You deserve that!


aoshi said...

Don't cry because its over, smile because it happened.

lee-an said...

@aoshi: Who says its over? Girl, it's just starting. hehe. Don't worry, I'll try my best to take care of your friend.

To rey, my silence over your post doesn't indicate my lack of feeling/s. But rather, the flow of thoughts and emotions were just overwhelming. Simply put, I miss you too.

Five Days

Five days I woke up with you by my side
Five days was spent in blissful surrender
Five days was real, we had nothing to hide
Five days left us a gift, something to ponder

At first you were hesitant... a cloud of doubt
A pillow you've placed to protect you from me
Take it off, no more fight, embrace what its all about
I'll take you places, you've dreamed to see

Your warm breath on my nape, shivers to my spine
Butterfly kisses, planted on my back
An embrace telling, I am yours, you are mine
And a kiss on my lips, sealed all that is divine

Five days past, we had to say good bye
Five days past, all we had to do was smile
Five days past, with this mem'ry, we'll get by
Five days past, we'll walk hand in had through the mile...

Mish u teddy bear!

(madami pa dapat kasunod, pero baka censored na, hahaha)

aoshi said...


aoshi said...

aawwwww.... ang nice naman ng poem... i read it with watery eyes! eeeyeee!!! :)
lee-aan promise mo yan ha... take good care of him.