Sunday, September 9, 2007

of bottles and cigarettes

At times, a feeling of immense sadness envelopes your whole soul taking you into an abyss of inconsolable feelings. No amount feigning happiness could ever awaken you from such melancholic mode. Among the few common occurrences, accompanying it includes a seemingly endless flow of lacrimal water, a sudden bout with sleep and a deafening roar of silence only audible to what now is your highly-sensitive ears. How much resistance you may give, still, the emotion overwhelms you that you succumb to what it requires: to ponder on things trivial but equally affecting.

I have had my days. There are nights where I have been transported into this alter-realm, an alternate reality. I have been surrounded by darkness that a flicker of light, despite how minute, would be greatly appreciated. My emotions are so depressed making an overdose of anesthesia far more pleasurable. I may have wept to my heart’s content but somehow, the tears I cried are never enough. My eyes may be tightly shut yet an invisible hand forces it open. My ear ceases to function that despite in utter tranquility, I am troubled by waves of thoughts as turbulent as that of a stormy day.

I am nowhere. Wherever I seek refuge, I am followed. Whenever I call for help, no one heeds my call. My shrieks are as mute as the dead of the night are.

I am looking forward to a new day: to the rays of the sun that touch my tired skin, to the breath of fresh air of the morning and most especially, to the new tomorrow I am blessed to have.

I thank the bottles who have liberated me from the night that has been and to the cigarette sticks that were witnesses to my internal struggle. Somehow, I am not alone. I am alive and I have company.

2 comments:

lee said...

I pity you... sounds harsh but I do,
For you do not see the multitude of people who loves you so true,
I ask you, strip yourself of these dark elements,
Of booze and smoke, of dark things and what they meant,
Then you'll see the love and smiles that are solely for you,
The arms waiting for an embrace, waiting till you do,

I ask of you rey, I ask if I may,
Look no further, look no farther,
'cause what you seek may not be in front of you, nor behind,
But is actually walking beside you, hoping you don't mind,

You are not alone, and the company you have is better than your bottles and sticks.
You are not alone, and the love that you have lasts longer than your spirits and smoke.

crazed_heck said...

you do not have to,
for what is written here may not be necessarily true,
the facade of faces i don't appreciate,
but those who love me are deemed great.